So Many Changes

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Blessed be the man who perserveres under trial, for once he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life which God has promised to those who love him.
~James 1:12
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This verse has really been on my mind lately. Besides being my favorite verse, it's really been something I've had to hold on to. So many things have happened...my parents looking for a new job pastoring...forcing us to move to most likely either Ohio or California.
I've been asked how important it is for me to complete highschool at my current one...If I say YES, that it is important....then it's possible that my dad and sister would move to California and I'd stay here with my mom for the school year and then we'd move out there too....but I don't want to split up the family for that time..while at the same time I don't want to leave where I'm living now.
That's just one of the many things I'm facing...
I have to lead worship for the church we're leaving in a week's time....
It's hard.
I'm tired of perservering...so it really makes me hope that crown of life is worthwhile...which I assume it is...
but it still feels like I'm at the point where I have to hope it is, instead of just knowing it is...

I don't know....so many changes...
I don't want to just have to "deal" with it...or "get by"
...I want to actually be living...but living is hard with all this going on
...I guess that's why that "crown of life" sounds so attractive and appealing right now.