Ginosko

Ok so it has been a while since I last blogged...about half a year apparently.  I know, I'm sorry, it's a problem. I don't even really know who reads these if I'm going to be serious.

Basically I have been changing...it's a rough process, but oh so worth it when the Lord breaks through.  It's up and down because I still fall a lot, and it kinda gets me down.  I mean, I know that the Lord wants me to get up, apologize, and keep pursuing him...but it's a bit harder than that for me to get past it myself.  I guess I hold myself to a pretty high standard.  In some ways it's dumb because I'm human and make mistakes, but then again, I know I'm capable to be just about all that I have my sights set on...it's still a ridiculous challenge though.

Many many ups and downs. One time I'll be in hot pursuit of God and experiencing him, and then however long later I'll fall again. Does this happen to everyone? I wanna just move past it.  I'm 100% sincere when I say that all I desire is for the Lord to be tangibly here, and present in my life...to make me who he wants me to be...and I'm acting on that more now and with more passion and desire than I have ever before in my life......but I still find ways to complicate things. I know I can't be perfect...I just wish I could come close to being close to being almost half way to being close to being....well you get it.

Psalm 27:4, Jude 1:24, and Ezekiel 36:26 have been the passages I have been relying on.

I just want God, sometimes he feels so close but right out of reach, other times he feels distant, but I want him to be HERE and know him.

Not just like...intellectually....but like...how do you say it...

the Greek word is ginosko....with those little - symbols over the o's.

it means "to know through experience; to perceive through the senses."  I want to know him through experience.