God's having fun in Colorado!

Alright it is officially 10/10/10!
I know it hasn't been officially two weeks since I've been here in Colorado yet, I still have one more day... But 1) It FEELS like I've already been here a month because of how much we are doing, and 2)...my schedule allows more time to sit down and write on sundays than it does on mondays.

Okay let me give you an update on how things are going over here!
The first week was pretty much just bonding, getting to know the other people here, and getting to know the guidelines and schedule and everything. The second week we kicked right off into the first topic called "Character of God" with teacher Blake Mattocks.
We have about 2-3 sessions of teaching each day on the "topic of the week" besides friday (where we have 1 session and then go to downtown Denver for outreach!)
Our week days are packed to the brim with sessions, outreach, small groups, worship 3 times a week, intercession, outreach preparation classes, and we also have a book to read with a book report due approximately every two weeks. It's not what I expected, it's a lot harder (haha) but SOOOO much better than I even thought it would be.

So that's what my schedule looks like. It's pretty crazy, but so good. That's why it feels like I've been here for so long, because every day is packed with so much stuff! I found out from the staff here that in these 5 months that I am attending YWAM, we are getting more than if we attended church every sunday and wednesday for over 4 years straight!

So much has happened since I've been here.
I'll start by telling you some personal stuff that has happened just in the past week and a half:

Some people told me before I came here that they felt like God would be teaching me obedience and respect for Him as my Father, and that's pretty much right on.
We had a session one day where we watched a teaching by the founder of YWAM, Loren Cunningham, on relinquishing our rights. Rights such as our right to family, right to have money, right to have the job we want, etc. He was teaching on relinquishing those rights to God.
Then what the staff did, was they made almost a ceremony-type-thing where they had a bunch of lit candles in the middle of the room, with a bunch of half-shot-glass sized candles with "psalm 40:3" inscribed on them. What they asked us to do was spend some time with God and ask Him if there was anything that He wanted us to relinquish, and then relinquish it. Once we did, we could take one of the small candles and we were free to go. If we didn't feel like we were ready yet, we could leave and then once we were ready we could tell the school leader and get our candle.
I sat down with God and asked Him what He wanted me to relinquish to Him, and I feel like just to kill some pride in me He proceeded by giving me a page and a quarter's worth of things He wanted me to relinquish! But nothing seemed too hard until He ended by saying "Jeshua, I want you to relinquish your right to tell me NO"
That was hard. I struggled with it for a long time because I didn't even realize that I had that as a safeguard. If God asked me anything that seemed too hard, I could just tell Him no. I finally got on my knees and said "okay God, I relinquish my right to tell you no." And He responded by saying "say it louder." so I did, and every time I did, He kept on saying "say it louder!" and eventually I was just like "GOD! If I say it any louder, I will be yelling and people will be distracted and they'll hear me from the other side of the room!" and He just said "Jeshua, are you telling me no?"
So I continued to struggle (I have NEVER yelled anything like this before. It's just not in my personality. Not even if I'm alone in a car. It's just so contrary to everything in me!) and I called my school leader over and told Him what was going on, and I was kind of hoping he would say that it was against the flow of what God was doing at the moment or something like that so that I wouldn't have to, but he pushed me to do it all the more! He said "Jeshua, I feel like you should just go and stand in the front of the room, face everyone, and shout it as loud as you can."
Not what I was looking for.
Eventually he told me that he just felt like it would really bless God's heart if I did. So. I finally gathered up my stuff, went to the front of the room and yelled it out!
Then I grabbed my candle and hustled out of there as fast as I could haha.
But it was the start of something huge.

Later on that night I was talking with God in the middle of a soccer field and I felt like he wanted me to do it again, and I was struggling again but I was working myself up to doing it, but just as I was going to, I got a phone call. So I just yelled it out and answered the phone, but as soon as I answered I just felt like "man, that was a half-hearted yell"

So I was talking with God about it the next morning in my quiet time, but he said that He counted it to me as obedience. I was torn and asked Him, "God, what should I do? Should I shout it again?" but He just said "the time to shout for me will come again soon, just spend this time with me." so I did. I didn't really catch that he said "the time to shout for me will come again soon" though. Until what happened next.

Right after my God time, it was time for worship.
During worship, it was a really slow song and I felt like God said "okay Jeshua, shout my name as loud as you can."
And I had a REALLY hard time with this because the first time I shouted there was only between 10-20 people in the room. Now there was over a hundred people in the small-medium sized room and I would most definitely be noticed even more.
But he kept on pushing and pushing and I just started crying and clenching my teeth because it was so hard! I knew I told God I wouldn't tell Him no, so I had to, but it felt like I just couldn't because I was so...scared?
Just as I was struggling with this, a staffer came up to me and he said "Jeshua, I got two pictures that I feel are for you. One is of a powerful, powerful man of God! He is strong and mature in the things of the Spirit and he is moving fluently in them...and the second picture is of you beaten, torn up, thrown out, battered, bruised, and completely destroyed. And I feel like God is saying that right now you have to CHOOSE between those two pictures."
And right as he said that I just couldn't take it any more. I was crying in distress so hard and clenching my teeth so tightly together that I wouldn't have been surprised if some of them broke and fell out of my mouth. But then he started praying for me and ironically the song they started playing had the words "Be my everything" repeating over and over, and I could just feel God pushing me. Right in that moment I know there was a war going on over me, and finally, louder than I have EVER EVER yelled in my entire life, I just clenched my fists and yelled "Jesus! Jesus! I want you Jesus! Jesus!"
Those four things.
I yelled so loud that my voice was scratching and tearing, and right then I just...couldn't stand any more.
I didn't start shaking, and it wasn't like someone knocked me over.
I just simply... couldn't stand.
I plopped down on my butt right there just crying and trembling because of what I just did, and people started praying for me.

I heard the leaders talking later in a debrief session, and they said that they had never seen Holy Spirit come in power like that during the first week in all their years of being here. I wasn't paying attention, but I found out that after that point, God broke through and was moving powerfully all over the room!

As I was talking with God later about it, He told me that He put His foot down in my life and gave me a fork in the road. I chose which path (which picture) I wanted to walk down, and now He is going to guide me down that path and not let me escape from it. That was the first week, and after that I can't even describe the rest of what happened.

I...humbly say that it feels like God has given me a whole new level of spiritual authority while I'm here.
Before I came, people also told me that they felt like God would put me in a position of leadership here where other people would be coming to me and I would be able to encourage them and push them forward into things of God.

A lot of the guys here are here because they are just trying to get their lives in order, so I'm in a position where I have been able to really encourage and pray for them, and tell them what I feel is on God's heart for them. Because of that, a lot of the guys here have opened up to me and trusted me with personal stuff, and I've been put in a position where I can really be used by God to touch their hearts and lives.

It also feels like I'm understanding more the authority I have in Christ while I'm here. I'm becoming recognized as the guy who is willing to pray for anyone for anything in love and care for that person, which is awesome!
I prayed for one girl who had just developed severe lactose intolerance, and now she is completely healed of it!

One guy I prayed for on the street during outreach got healed from arthritis and back pain.

Another girl on our team was experiencing severe allergies because of people smoking downtown. She couldn't breathe and her stomach was in a lot of pain. We prayed for her once, and she got a little better. But we prayed for her again, and God revealed to me that he wanted to share with her the reason why he was going to heal her all the way before He fully healed her. So I started sharing what God put on my heart and it was exactly what she needed, and she said that as I was talking God was healing her even more, and then we prayed one more time and she was completely healed! We talked with her later and found out that the smoke didn't bother her at ALL after that for the rest of the night!

Those are just some of the stories of what has been going on here.
Thank you so much for supporting me financially and through prayer to make this growth possible!

some prayer requests I have:
1) That I would be able to well-maintain a personal relationship with God on top of all the public teachings and stuff. Sometimes I forget that I still need to pursue God in secret even in the atmosphere of a place like YWAM where everything is focused on God.
2) That I would learn to listen and be obedient to everything God wants me to do.
3) A lot of the guys and girls here still need their outreach money to be provided for, so pray that God will provide for them!

I'm going to talk with my school leader and get him to start an outreach fund for the people who need it. Thanks to all of you, God provided more than I need for all of my school AND outreach, so I am going to put any extra money I have into this fund.

If you feel led to support any of them, you can mail in support checks made out to "YWAM DENVER"
The mailing address would be:

Jeshua Frederick
Youth With A Mission Denver
12750 W. 63rd Ave
Arvada CO 80004

ALL CHECKS THAT COME IN WILL GO 100% INTO THE OUTREACH FUND FOR THE OTHER STUDENTS HERE WHO STILL NEED MONEY!

Thank you guys again for helping me get here, and for praying for me!
God's doing great things here in Colorado and in my life and the lives of the other people here.
God's love,
-Jeshua Frederick